


On the knife's edge between honor and desire

by HotaruGFC (JaclynGFC)



Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Apologies, Awkwardness, F/M, Hangover, Pre-Relationship, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:34:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27447955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaclynGFC/pseuds/HotaruGFC
Summary: After the failed dinner party/mixer set up by her squad, Charlotte feels the need to apologize.
Relationships: Charlotte Roselei/Yami Sukehiro
Comments: 2
Kudos: 85





	On the knife's edge between honor and desire

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe this will bleed into them training, maybe this is a one-shot. I don't know. I just had the feeling that Charlotte would feel a little guilty after tricking Yami into the dinner party. So as the captain, she felt she needed to apologize on behalf of her squad and herself.

Charlotte chewed the skin around her thumb as she walked down the hall. The bright sunlight streamed through the windows and assaulted her eyes. She knew she should not have had more than one glass of wine, but with the company and atmosphere, she had found it difficult to say no when offered the second. 

He had looked at her funny when she agreed to it and she had caught his worried look out of the corner of her eye as she sipped on the dark liquid. 

But she hadn't stopped herself. She needed the courage the drink had given her once Puli had moved her chair next to his. With everything that had happened during the party – mixer, she told herself, let's be honest with its purpose--she needed to rebuild her will to talk to him, to get him to talk about himself... to touch him like she had declared she would. 

And once she had, after finishing her first glass of wine, she hadn't wanted to stop. Touching him felt so natural.

Now, though, in the brightness of day, Charlotte felt dread at facing him again. She could feel the deep blush coloring her cheeks at the mere thought of him teasing her about the night before. She felt she would never again have a defense against those sorts of attacks. She felt he had to know how she felt now; it had to be obvious after how she had acted.  
She stopped at the end of the corridor and looked at the heavy wooden doors which led to the dining room. She could hear muffled laughter through the walls. She had hoped to take her breakfast alone, given how late she had awoken, but now she knew that would not be an option. Charlotte sighed before turning on her heel and walking down the hallway once more.

"I'm not that hungry anyway," she muttered under her breath.

"Captain! How are you feeling?" A loud, boisterous voice echoed down a crossing hallway as she passed through the intersection. Charlotte froze, fighting the urge to run from one of the instigators of the prior night's shenanigans. She took a deep breath before turning to the voice.

"I'm alright, Puli. A little headache, but nothing terrible." 

"Oh, good. I was worried after you finished the second glass and could barely stand up."

Charlotte cringed at the memory. She had announced, loudly, that she was going to the bathroom and pushed back her chair. As she stood, she felt herself toppling forward into the table, but she could not bring her arms up to stop her descent. She remembered a screech that seemed distant, like it came from across the room, and then strong, warm hands gripping her upper arms.

"But Captain Yami's reflexes are really quite something." The self-described "Angel of Love" went on. "Even as dense as he is, I think he likes you, Captain. I'm just not sure he's realized it yet." 

Charlotte rubbed her temples as the sound of Puli's voice beat on her eardrums like a mallet. Charlotte was not so certain of Puli's assessment of his feelings. Every time she thought they had made some headway, he always came back with some comment which set them back at square one. Alone, it was enough to make her head hurt – not to mention her heart.

"We just need to get you together with him again. I'm sure he will come to his senses." Puli continued.

Charlotte sighed. 

"I don't want to trick him again, Puli. I know you mean well, and I know you want the best for me, but I can't help but think all this manipulation is only making matters worse."

"But Captain..."

"No, Puli. I already feel bad enough about tricking him into coming to the dinner. I'll figure it out on my own, alright?"

Puli seemed shocked but she backed down.

"Of course, Captain. But if you need any advice..."

"I'll be sure to ask, Puli. Thank you." Charlotte nodded and continued her trip down the hall back toward her room. As she pulled the door shut behind her and leaned against it, she realized at least part of what she had told Puli had been the truth. She felt dishonest for tricking him into meeting as they had, even as she was grateful for his attendance, even if she had not been able to make her true feelings known. 

She wondered how much of what was holding her back was herself. True, he was the densest man she had ever met, but surely there was more she should have been able to do, but could not. In the end, wasn't she her own worst enemy?

She squeezed her eyes shut at the sting of tears threatening to form in them. Pity and guilt had never gotten her anywhere in life, and she was not about to succumb to them now. Charlotte took a deep breath and turned back to the door. Striding down the hall, she felt a renewed sense of purpose as she decided to see him.

***

She arrived at the ramshackle building which seemed to have been cobbled together from many other, smaller buildings, and stared at it with a strange sense of awe and disbelief. Despite the haphazard nature of the structure, the building was imposing, almost menacing as it loomed over her. 

She steeled herself and took a step toward the door. She had raised her hand to knock when a voice called out behind her.

"Charlotte?" 

She froze and commanded her heart to slow itself as the deep, rich voice saying her name rolled through her mind. She took a breath and forced her shoulders to relax as she let it out. She spun slowly on her heel to face the source of the voice. 

"Hello, Yami." She prayed he could not hear her panic through her voice. 

"What brings you out here?" His face was a mask as he brought his cigarette to his lips. She could not tell if he was happy to see her or if he thought she was being an annoyance from his blank face and even tone of voice.

"I, um, I came to apologize."

He raised his eyebrows.

"For what?"

"For the... dinner party last night. It didn't go quite as planned." She could not bring herself to tell him exactly what had been planned.

Yami shrugged.

"There was food, so we came. And it all ended up fine, didn't it?"

Charlotte pressed her lips into a thin line and could feel her temples throbbing. Why must he always only see the most obvious thing? Why can't he look beneath the surface?

"Anyway, I'm sorry for freaking out like I did, like I always seem to do."

"Yeah, well, I guess it's hard not to when you're trying to get along with someone who repulses you as much as I do." 

Did his voice shift just a bit? She thought she heard something in it. A sadness maybe? Whatever it has flitted away before she could pin it down.

"I don't hate you, Yami." Her voice was soft, quiet, barely audible as she spoke. A far cry from the admission of love her squad members wanted, but it was a step, she told herself. She glanced up at him and he seemed frozen. His eyes were wide and his hand had stopped midway to his mouth. His cigarette burned between his fingers, wasting away on its halted journey to his lips. His jaw clenched and relaxed several times as he looked at her as if doing so was helping him sort through this new piece of information.

"Anyway," Charlotte said more loudly to break the growing silence. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior and to... thank you for coming. I don't know if I did so last night and if not it was a terrible breach of protocol."

The spell had broken and he stuck his cigarette between his lips once more.

"I'm never one to turn down a meal, and I'm not one to really care about protocol. But, I guess I should thank you as well, for the invitation."

Charlotte smiled softly.

"Though I hadn't expected you to be dressed all fancy like that." He added.

Charlotte shook her head and scoffed. 

"What, did you expect me to go to dinner in my armor?"

Yami shrugged.

"Nah. But that dress was... something else."

Charlotte's face scrunched up in confusion. What could he mean by that? She wanted to ask but was afraid of the answer.

"You, uh, looked nice."

The compliment struck her like lightning and when Charlotte looked up at Yami, his brow was furrowed and his gaze lingered on a patch of dirt off to the side of her. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and scuffed his boot along the ground.

"Thank you." Her voice had gone quiet again and she could feel the blood rushing to her cheeks in a blush she could not stop.

A heavy silence fell over them. Charlotte wanted to say more, but she could not find the words or even figure out which topic to broach.

She looked up at him only to find him hurriedly looking away from her and sucking deeply on his cigarette. 

"It's good to see how much your squad cares for you." He said as a cloud of smoke erupted from his mouth. "And to see you letting them."

Charlotte blinked, watching the smoke billowing around him in silence.

"I had started to wonder if you would ever listen." His deep voice rumbled like the waves of a distant ocean's roar.

Charlotte chewed on her bottom lip as she watched his chest heave with a deep inhale before the image of him was diffused through another cloud of cigarette smoke. 

"Well, it might have taken a few times, but I do learn eventually." 

"Apparently." His eyes locked with hers as he looked up finally. 

Charlotte tightened her hands into fists to keep herself from succumbing to the wobbly feeling in her legs as his eyes bored through her. Her gut twisted with a desire she could not quite put into words, or rather the words got stuck in her throat and remained unspoken. She blinked slowly and the spell had broken when she opened her eyes. Blood rushed to her cheeks as she looked away from him.

"Yes, well. I do appreciate your assistance with their experiment."

"I'm always here if you need help with anything."

Charlotte bit her lower lip once more and could feel her cheeks warm at the thought of what anything might mean. Or was she reading too much into his words again?

"Everyone's training for the upcoming battles and all... if you want to train together..." His voice trailed off and when she looked back at him he was scratching the back of his head.

She blinked once, then twice.

"I might take you up on that." Her heart pounded as she looked at him for a moment longer. His brow furrowed as he blew out a slow stream of smoke. His body seemed tenser than before, his gaze more intense. 

Charlotte could feel her face warming and she quickly turned from him, hurrying down the path. She summoned her transport with a deep sigh. 

"Well, at least I didn't run away," she muttered to herself, ignoring the fact that she had left so much else unspoken.


End file.
